Story so far
After Faction Wars, Princess Donut is taken to her own exit-deal negotiation in the Zero Zone, separately from Carl. Quasar had hoped to represent her and even wore his Mongo tie for the occasion, but she was assigned another attorney: Princess Chandra, Esquire. The meeting reportedly produced serious fireworks, and not the good kind.
Donut declines every offer, as does Carl, including a joint deal that would have made the two of them the replacement for Chaco. Carl, sitting alone in a freezing cubicle and wishing he could sleep, thinks he could rest in that silent room if only Donut were with him. The catastrophe of the meeting is not the refused deals but the lawyer herself: Chandra is Carl's new wife, and Quasar warns that they need to have a serious talk about her.
Appearance
A Persian cat in a jewelled tiara, still every inch the princess even at the end of a war.
Role
Carl's co-crawler and party star, who turns down her exit offers alongside him.
Relationships
Carl — Her crawling partner, who declined his own deals in a parallel meeting
Quasar — Represented her on past contract matters and hoped to again
Mongo — Her pet dinosaur, popular enough to still sell as a Veriluxx toy
Earlier in this series
Also appears in books you've already read — spoiler-safe to their endings:
Sources — 95 recorded facts, by chapter
Chapter 1
- A tiara-wearing Persian show cat who talks, kills, and outranks nearly every crawler alive.
Chapter 4
- A talking Persian show cat, co-warlord of the Princess Posse, who lands face-first in mud and immediately becomes a long-range sniper-assassin with a hat.
Chapter 5
- Donut rejects her hideous camouflage suit, claims Quan's cloak, and bounces impatiently to open her Celestial box.
Chapter 6
- Carl's show-cat partner, who in chapter nine trades fragility for celestial tankiness and a jewel-studded crown.
Chapter 7
- Carl's orange cat partner, flush with two benefactor boxes, obsessed with her new cloak and Carl's missing eyebrows.
Chapter 9
- Carl's Persian cat partner, who reacts to the new pet as a betrayal and grants everyone officer ranks.
Chapter 10
- Carl's cat partner, who mocks the airship's name and reveals she has been studying the Faction Wars rulebook.
Chapter 11
- Carl's cat partner, outraged all chapter by bootleg merch of her backside and charmed only by a dwarf's hat.
Chapter 12
- Carl's cat partner, planning Louis's wedding entertainment while mass-promoting crawlers and spotting changelings.
Chapter 13
- Cat crawler who furiously denies Ferdinand's engagement claim while coaching Louis through a romantic proposal.
Chapter 14
- Carl's cat and co-warlord, who forces Ferdinand to renounce their engagement and extorts an alliance rename.
- Carl's cat co-warlord, outraged at being banned from the club and at Ferdinand's toilet-paper turban.
Chapter 16
- Co-warlord cat who loses a sponsorship, insists the new army is hers too, and warms to Rosetta.
Chapter 17
- Carl's cat partner, mobbed as royalty by bune worshippers on arrival at the Princess Posse base camp.
Chapter 18
- Cat co-warlord who hates the castle's obscene name and lands a Magic Missile on the suicide bomber.
Chapter 19
- Carl's co-warlord cat, who vets the new adjutant, mourns her lost Wall of Fire, and spoils the wedding secret.
Chapter 20
- Carl's cat co-commander, sprayed by skunks and saddled with a three-hour Skanked debuff she considers beneath her dignity.
Chapter 22
- Carl's cat partner, absent from the treatment because she is showering endlessly to scrub off a lingering stench.
Chapter 23
- Donut panics in all caps when Carl vanishes mid-procedure and reappears across the map.
Chapter 24
- Co-warlord who shouts over chat about her army and demands to know why the ceasefire is collapsing early.
Chapter 25
- Carl's cat and co-warlord, absent from the inquiry but named in Houston's torture threat against them both.
Chapter 26
- Carl's cat and partner, whose all-caps message that she misses him keeps him from pressing the fuse.
Chapter 27
- Co-warlord cat who hand-picks the Personal Guard platoon and rides Mongo south with Carl.
Chapter 28
- Carl's cat companion, riding his shoulder through the trench battle and furious at the filth and her own uselessness.
Chapter 29
- Carl's cat companion, riding his shoulder through the war council and hiding her nerves behind commentary about Boomer.
Chapter 30
- Warlord of the Princess Posse who launches the trench assault with a shouted pep talk and a promised prize.
Chapter 31
- Charges beside Carl through the smoke, screaming when her ear protection is stripped, then heals Mongo mid-run.
Chapter 32
- Rides Mongo through the aftermath, silently broods on the flight, then helps Carl kill the castle guards.
Chapter 34
- Donut fights beside Carl in the Prism throne room, holds him back from murder, and claims the empress's execution herself.
Chapter 35
- Carl's cat partner, who halts eight mercenaries with a word, loots D'Nadia's corpse, and demands Carl abandon the ring.
Chapter 36
- Deposed party leader who insists her rising Constitution will win the role back while barking orders at the loot crew.
Chapter 37
- Carl's feline partner, who names the saferoom sneak-attack plan the Bamboozle and discovers the enemy's door inside the FUPA.
Chapter 38
- Cat warlord who spots invisible enemies, kills with Hole, and rallies the whole base into a screaming charge.
Chapter 39
- Co-warlord who leaps to the barracks roof on Mongo, calls the alpha card deployment, and spots the invisible assassin behind Carl.
Chapter 40
- Warlord cat who scouts King Rust with her new crown skill and spends the guild's last gold on upgrades and banners.
Chapter 41
- Donut rides Simoom out to the parlay in an ornate howdah, complaining about the smell and the steering the whole way.
Chapter 42
- Donut opens the parlay demanding concubines, then reels as King Rust reveals the solar system is doomed.
Chapter 44
- Donut rides Simoom through the retreat, refuses to abandon the rhino, and broadcasts the tunnel news in all caps.
Chapter 45
- Donut panics over Carl's sudden teleport and is told to return to base and keep silent about Formidable.
Chapter 47
- Yanked into the meeting to give the primal relationship advice, she survives insulting it and delivers genuinely shrewd counsel.
Chapter 48
- Carl's cat co-warlord, who spends the aftermath gleefully trash-talking the orc heir in warlord chat.
Chapter 49
- Carl's cat partner, messaging in all caps from the front about walls, pink paint, and tattoo design approval.
Chapter 50
- Donut arrives grumbling about filth, unimpressed tattoos, and being separated from Carl by the infiltration plan.
Chapter 51
- Co-warlord of the Princess Posse, who wins a gold piece betting Stalwart would show up wearing an actual crown.
Chapter 52
- Co-warlord who greets Odette like a fan, heckles Stalwart's finances, and is outraged that shows can be renamed.
Chapter 53
- Donut stalls the council with a pitch for Princess TV, then threatens Vinata once she recognizes Blood Hunter.
Chapter 54
- Sent to the castle at transfer, she boards Party Planner and hectors Carl to hurry to the temple.
- Boards Party Planner at the castle on schedule and shouts at Carl to get to the temple.
Chapter 55
- Carl's cat partner, whose Sepsis Whore problem is the reason the naga bloodline has to die.
Chapter 56
- Carl's cat partner, shouting on chat about tattoos while masking guilt over the war being fought for her.
Chapter 58
- Asks the only question that matters about Khepri: how does a beetle god qualify as a god of light?
Chapter 59
- Carl's cat partner, held in reserve aboard Party Planner as the contingency if a naga family member slips the trap.
Chapter 60
- Absent from the club raid but referenced as the owner of the spell Dark Purpose most resembles.
Chapter 61
- Carl's cat partner, absent from the strike team but screaming in all caps at Li Na over party chat.
Chapter 62
- Carl's cat partner, panicking over chat from outside the temple on learning he is fighting an actual god.
Chapter 63
- Carl's partner, calling the running kill-count over chat while he is buried under Vinata in the club.
Chapter 64
- Warlord of the Princess Posse, named blood heir of the Sepsis Whore, who reports her own operation went easy.
Chapter 65
- Carl's partner in leading the war effort, praised by Justice Light as the sluggalos are sent up to fight.
Chapter 66
- Carl's cat, whose battlefield-wide spotting from the Nest tower is the linchpin of Operation Ruin.
Chapter 67
- Donut oversees the enchanting mages at the Nest and, without explanation, pushed hardest for Li Na to get the ring.
Chapter 68
- Carl's partner, one of the three crawlers to whom the last surviving naga courtier surrendered.
Chapter 69
- Warlord cat commanding the offensive against the Dream, delighted with her new PA system and Flak spell.
Chapter 70
- Carl's partner, ordered off her PA soundboard during the god fight and handed the entire southern campaign by Rosetta.
Chapter 71
- Cat sniper firing from the Nest, killing four war mages mid-teleport and volunteering atrocities with obvious relish.
Chapter 72
- Donut rages about being denied kill credit on Stalwart and orders a missile strike on the fleeing Epitome Tagg.
Chapter 73
- Carl's cat partner, frustrated that her targeting spell cannot lock onto the blurred dragon.
Chapter 74
- Carl's cat partner, reassigned to cover the 103rd's retreat once Prepotente is pulled away from the feint.
Chapter 75
- Carl's partner, sniping from the tower, whose mass-flesher plan collapses when the enemy army turns on Carl.
Chapter 76
- Warlord cat who saves eighty thousand witnesses by rolling them into a giant ball and committing an official atrocity.
Chapter 77
- Donut distracts the god Harpocrates by blasting insults and Lil Wayne over the battlefield PA while shepherding her flesh ball.
Chapter 78
- Cat co-warlord holding the tower under Harpocrates's fury while her rolling-ball plan comes together.
Chapter 79
- Absent from the dream room after being sprayed by skunks, sparing her the mind invasion Carl inflicts on everyone else.
Chapter 80
- Co-warlord of the Princess Posse, working out how to safely break apart the enemy battle formation.
Chapter 81
- Warlord cat casting her second Atrocity from a synergy tower while a mute god closes in on her.
Chapter 82
- Donut spots the hidden antenna from the Nest tower, then discovers a net has trapped her inside it.
Chapter 83
- Trapped alone atop the Nest tower, Donut holds off Lucia Mar with rolling barrels and finally summons Raul.
Chapter 84
- Trapped in the tower room by a trap net bound to her, Donut fights the dog by proxy and loses Mongo down the chute.
Chapter 85
- Donut snipes towers from the Nest for hours, jumping from level 65 to 74 and going hollow-eyed.
Chapter 86
- Carl's cat partner, who reluctantly consents to a tattoo on her flank so she can cast War Crime.
Chapter 87
- Cat crawler who takes a stolen god-tattoo, gains the War Crime spell, and must cast it while trapped in the Nest.
Chapter 88
- Donut commits her third Atrocity, becomes The Oak Fell and Champion of Nekhebit, and personally slams thousands of enemies to paste.
Chapter 89
- Carl's cat partner, who emerges from the Nest battle as the dungeon's strongest crawler at level 135.
Chapter 90
- Donut argues with war mages in warlord chat, learns to rename herself, and consoles the grieving Sledge.
Chapter 91
- Donut rides Mongo to the Reaver castle, showing off her new Oak Fell spells and upgraded strength.
Chapter 92
- Evaporates Reaver security dogs with an overpowered Magic Missile while fretting over Mongo's impending fatherhood.
Chapter 93
- Riding Mongo home, Donut interrogates Tagg in warlord chat and regrets not trying Laundry Day on Fang.
- Under her warlord title, Donut confronts Tagg directly and rejects his mother-for-life hostage trade.
Chapter 94
- Donut rides Mongo to the saferoom, gloats about the ring, and appoints herself aunt to the new Ursensus twins.
Chapter 95
- Carl's cat partner, who supplies the healing brew for surgery and thanks Samantha for helping save Louis.
Chapter 96
- Co-warlord cat who trolls Epitome Tagg into paralysis to buy time for Louis's surgery.
Chapter 97
- Donut swallows the Ring of Divine Suffering, says goodbye to her bodyguard and suitor, and receives her own book of gifts.
Chapter 98
- Donut executes a trapped goddess-CEO with Laundry Day, a maxed Claw, and a crossbow bolt of ashes.
Chapter 99
- Grieving and guilty, Donut takes Katia's crow card, apologizes for the ashes, and swears the dungeon will never break her.
Chapter 100
- The cat half of the dungeon's first-place team, who declines her exit offers in a meeting that ends badly.
- Carl's partner, who declines her own exit deals in a meeting that ends in serious fireworks.