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Library/ A Parade of Horribles
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character

Dr. Metcalf

the navigation AI · the GPS · Bea's therapist

The party's GPS, finally lavished with golden upgrades — cloaking, weapons control, overclocking — and transformed from bitter to gleefully lethal.

Story so far

Dr. Metcalf, the party's long-resentful navigation AI hologram (modeled on Bea's therapist), gets everything she ever sulked for before the final heat. Thanks to upgrades stripped from departing crawlers' vehicles, she receives three GPS boons: a standard upgrade to see the team's heat placement, an integrated weapons-control system, and a golden-tier cloaking upgrade that massively boosts her processing — letting her overclock vehicle systems and, crucially, feed rival GPS units only what the crew wants them to see. Her acerbic misery evaporates into gleeful competence: she loads Mordecai's custom potion into the delivery shotgun to fire the nanosecond the light turns green, times the hole-punch shield-breaker, and volunteers to slot an electrical-disrupter ball into the third cannon to 'fry that bitch of a GPS' — Dwight's Lucienne-modeled fairy unit that once mocked her as low-tier.

Only one grudge survives her promotion: she still refuses to un-mute Dorota. From humiliated salvage to the crew's overclocked electronic-warfare edge, all it took was being valued.

Appearance

A dashboard hologram of a human woman in a pantsuit and large red glasses (Bea's therapist's likeness), now projecting smug, upgraded confidence.

Role

The party's now fully-upgraded navigation AI, running cloaking, weapons, and electronic warfare in the final heat.

Relationships

Carl — Directs her to time the hole-punch and potion cannons to fire the instant the race starts.
Dorota — The chair-AI she keeps vindictively muted even after her own upgrade.
Dwight — Whose Lucienne-modeled fairy GPS she gleefully plans to fry with an electrical disrupter.
Mordecai — Whose custom potion she loads into the delivery shotgun for the starting volley.
Sources — 5 recorded facts, by chapter
Chapter 19
  • The food truck's sentient GPS — a mean-girl narcissist AI named for Beatrice's fraud therapist, cheerfully predicting everyone's death.
Chapter 43
  • The party's salvaged, passive-aggressive navigation AI, forever complaining it hasn't been properly updated.
Chapter 65
  • The party's un-upgraded, passive-aggressive GPS, now humiliated to navigate the factory heat beside the Dominators' snooty upgraded unit, Janice.
Chapter 76
  • The party's un-upgraded GPS, given a hologram form modeled on Bea's real therapist — now passive-aggressively spying on the truck's every system.
Chapter 83
  • The party's GPS, finally lavished with golden upgrades — cloaking, weapons control, overclocking — and transformed from bitter to gleefully lethal.
Character sheet
LitRPG stats — unique to this series. Other books surface a different panel here.
Navigation AI LVL unknown
Skills & spells
  • route mapping
  • integrated weapons control (new)
  • golden cloaking / overclocking (new)
  • GPS spoofing (new)
Notable gear
  • dashboard hologram projector
  • three stripped GPS upgrades
Character portrait