Portraits revealed through your current reading position.
A talking Veriluxx action figure of an Earth deity that dispenses profane, useless life advice.
Uzi Jesus is one of the Veriluxx Real Pet Companion toys gathering dust on the shelves of Squirties. Zander rather likes this one, and taps it awake while clearing unsellable stock. It greets him, notes he looks upset, and asks what the problem is.
What follows is the book's last joke. Zander explains that the embargo has ruined him, and the toy replies that this fucking sucks, then suggests that at least he is not trapped on the other side, that he is probably fucked anyway, and finally that he could start a church and be ballin' if he did it right. It scratches its head with its plastic gun, which goes off with a pop, prompting a Dad damnit that triggers a canned disclaimer that Veriluxx Real Pet Companions does not endorse blasphemy. Its flailing knocks over a Raul crab figure. Its final line, as Eris sets Zander's face spraying, is Holy Mary mother of me.
A large action figure of an Earth deity holding a plastic submachine gun, animated enough to walk, gesture and knock over neighboring toys.
The comic chorus of the book's closing scene, a licensed god in plastic form.
Also appears in books you've already read — spoiler-safe to their endings: