The 14th-edition cookbook author and best source on the ninth floor — broken to incoherence by watching the beautiful city of Larracos destroyed.
Priestly is the crawler-author of the 14th edition of the Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook and its single best source on the ninth-floor city of Larracos. His entry, read by Carl, rhapsodizes over Larracos as 'a living, breathing poem' — an inverted funnel of museums, colleges, theaters, and living NPCs built by the Semeru dwarves to reach the Celestials below, an act that awakened Scolopendra at the volcano's base. Achingly aware the city is razed every faction-wars season with all its NPCs killed, Priestly dreaded what witnessing that would do to his mind — and it broke him: after marching with the bugbear army over the corpses of actors he'd watched perform, his final entry dissolved into an incoherent jumble ('So much.
So little. Stab, stab, stab...'). His fate is Carl's cautionary mirror: caring so much it paralyzes.
Never physically described; known through his lyrical, then shattered, cookbook entries.
The cookbook author and Larracos authority whom the system broke into madness.