Planet Beautiful

the culture show

A surprise-hit broadcast where crawlers narrate their planet's culture — now a ratings powerhouse built on garbage AI-written scripts.

Story so far

Planet Beautiful is a Syndicate broadcast program that has Carl and Princess Donut narrate segments about Earth culture — beauty pageants, pet shows, and the like. Created years ago by the gray-alien producer Bin to preserve the cultures being erased by the crawl, it has unexpectedly exploded into a ratings powerhouse (the pair's booking cost more than the last two seasons combined). Its scripts, however, are grotesque AI-written nonsense scraped from Earth's media — Carl refuses to read a vile segment on "roasties" and Chad-class males, forcing Bin to swap in a video-arcade-history script, while Donut cheerfully goes off-book to spin lurid tales about cocker spaniels and Crufts.

The recording happens in a luxurious undersea security submarine trailer run by Mexx-6000, where — thanks to Borant's cheap dual-zone system — Carl retains full interface access and loots the furniture. Past narrators include Hekla, Prepotente, and Miriam Dom.

Appearance

A broadcast program recorded in physical sound-booth studios; segments pair crawler narration with absurd, mismatched Earth video inserts.

Role

A hit culture-narration show that gives the party airtime, snacks, and a window into Syndicate media politics.

Relationships

Bin — Its idealistic gray-alien creator, now crushed by corporate pressure.

Titan — The production giant squeezing the show to be more 'interesting.'

Princess Donut — A star narrator who improvises her own outlandish segments.

Mexx-6000 — The trailer AI that hosts the pair before recording.

Earlier in this series

Also appears in books you've already read — spoiler-safe to their endings:

Carl's Doomsday ScenarioBook 2

Sources — 1 recorded facts, by chapter

Chapter 20

A surprise-hit broadcast where crawlers narrate their planet's culture — now a ratings powerhouse built on garbage AI-written scripts.