Bard

Story so far

Princess Donut's new bard class uses no mana at all — she simply sings and the spells cast themselves. The catch is that the song must be in key, and its power scales with how well it is performed, which is a disaster for a cat whose singing Carl compares to a helium-drunk cat crushed by a steamroller and whose rhythm is that of a drunk, three-legged donkey on ice-covered stairs.

There are two kinds of songs. Most spells display floating karaoke lyrics she must sing while inventing her own melody; two others play a melody automatically and require her to improvise lyrics on the fly. Her three party-support songs are Standing Ovation, Entourage and Encore; the remaining two are offensive — one a psionic attack, one an Elle-style ice attack — and neither is feasible yet. The whole class stays useless until they find a Golden Throat item.

Role

Donut's new class, powerful in theory and comically broken in practice.

Relationships